Saturday, March 5, 2011

Perkins Stillwater - The Worst Service of My Life.

You'll have to ignore the review below.  It was born of memory and not recent experience.  Here goes.

I went in here last Sunday with my brother, his girlfriend, and my best buddy.  We knew it would be busy, and it might take a while to get our food, so that was expected.  What wasn't expected was the saddest serving experience I have ever been witness to in all of my food life.

After we were shown to our seats, we waited the regular time to get our menu's and place our drink orders, and did receive our respective coffee's, waters, etc. in an respectable time.

However, everything went to shit after that.

When our drinks arrived, one member of our party had left to use the restroom.  I specifically told the waitress that we were ready to order, and if she could come back in 30 seconds we would order quickly..  10-15 minutes passed, and I am not making this up for dramatization.
No less than 10 minutes (and I am being generous here) passed before our waitress finally arrived again.  During the last 5 minutes of this 10-15 minute wait, I had a bad feeling, and suggested we just go to Oasis Cafe, where the pancakes aren't as good, but the service is 10x better-literally.  Hindsight being 20-20, we made a very poor decision and stayed.  As we placed out order with the errant (and very blonde) waitress, (who's all ready half filled head seemed to be elsewhere) I had the sneaking suspicion her ability to bring the food out warm would be as equally skillful as her time management skills proved to not be when she took our food order.  My instincts were spot on as anywhere from 30-60 minutes passed before our "food" finally arrived.  I say 30-60 minutes as an estimate, because at this point I had lost all sense of time due to malnutrition and thirst deprivation, as in all this time NONE of our drinks had been refilled.  It could have been a week for all I know.  In fact in all time, the waitress never even stopped by our table to ask how things are.  Rather, before our food arrived, the last time we had seen her anywhere on the dining room area was when we placed our order.  So what was she doing then?  Probably texting, but whatever it was she was doing, it wasn't her job-I can most assuredly say that.  So that falls not only on her, but also horrible management, for they train and oversee everything that goes on, (at least ideally.)

Anyway, when the waitress finally brought the food over, she looked extremely guilty and tried to make a clean getaway, without asking how anything was, or if we needed drinks (she knew how horrific she was.)  It was kind of like watching someone bump into another car in a parking lot, and then look around to see if anyone saw, before peeling away.. Except in this particular instance, (metaphorically speaking) she didn't even look for witnesses, instead she gunned it full speed and hit another car even harder.

What happened next was our "food" got set down, and just by looking you could tell that it had been sitting for a good twenty minutes.  Besides the food having been cooled down, my best buddies pancakes were completely uncooked on the underside (they tried to hide it) and my brother's bestest gal still had an empty coke that should have been nursing a mild hangover.  I myself, was staring down at a frozen omelette with cold pancakes.  My buddy took one bite, threw down the fork, and went right to the front desk, saying "he isn't paying for that shit," and stormed out.  Unfortunately, in his rage to leave with an exclamation point attached to his behind, he didn't realize he had not addressed the proper employee.  The manager eventually got the message and after seeing him peer around the dining room, I waved him over, and told him how I had never once complained in my life about food service (true fact) but this was far and away the worst food experience of my life, both for service and taste-both were abysmal.

The manager was below average about attempting to rectify the colossal error, as he asked us what we wanted done about it.  I responded that the food and service was about half of what it usually was, so by that logic, half price would likely be fair, but I also stated that I ate most of my food, so I would pay full price at the same time.  He gave a measly $3 discount to each of us, and I will never be back.

As for the waitress; yes, she was young and blonde, and hopefully in the future she will be able to learn the ability to retain information and learn from mistakes, but if not, she will likely have to parlay those above average looks into a Hollywood career that involves cast members with names such as Mandingo, Jack Hammer, and Backdoor Barney.

If you are stupid enough to go into this particular Perkin's after having knowledge of this review, and seeing the collective rating on this location, then please eat for the rest of us too.

Perkins Family Restaurant on Urbanspoon

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