Rusty Taco's - Uniquely Grand!

508 Lexington Pkwy S St Paul, MN 55105

Excellent Taco's!

I have been hearing great things about "Rusty Taco" so I finally had to try it for myself. I can now confirm the deliciousness! I tried two taco's-"The Rusty", and another which I forget the name-but it had shredded pork or beef and both were exquisite.

The thing I liked about "Rusty Taco" taco's was the unique flavors that created an orgasm of deliciousness within the confines of my tasty bud's. All the flavor's worked quite well together, and the result was a uniquely grand taste that is different than most any other taco I have had in a delicious way. The pineapple in the rusty taco perfectly complimented all the other flavors. Went with a friend that loved it as well.

One other GREAT thing about "Rusty Taco?" ALL the taco's are $2.50 and unless your a fat slob, two tacos are enough to fill you up!

The only drawback? The guacamole is absolute shit-the pureed kind that comes out of a plastic bag I got the feel, not a 1/10 as good as Chipolte guacamole. So they really, really need to make fresh guacamole or just stop making the stuff they have now all together, because it shames an otherwise great experience.

Cheeky Monkey - You'll Go Banana's!

525 Selby Ave. St Paul, MN 55102

I have been meaning to try this place for years-finally went and tried it yesterday.

I ordered a coffee, the cubano, and a chocolate chip cookie for dessert. I sampled the veggie sandwich from my friend; my Bro had the meatloaf sandwich-and the four of us all really enjoyed the food.

We arrived at around 4:45 so it wasn't too busy, but started to get filled as we waited for our sandwiches to arrive, which didn't take long at all. When they arrived they were uniformly cooked, and delicious. Nothing exceptional, but really good, and the price was right ($8 without tax.) I love the ambiance of the place and the cleanliness of the space as well as the outside surrounding it. Great energy!

For $6-8 you get to choose a sandwich, and before I went to check this place out, I saw a negative review from some slob complaining that there are no side orders to go along with the sandwich. Well, I am 6' 3'' and 190 pounds and had worked out earlier so I was hungry, and I was overly full after eating the Cubano..so there is plenty of food within the sandwich, and if you are one that is still hungry after eating one of Cheeky Monkey's, you are probably overweight, and need to be eating less-not more.

I also loved the free glass vats of iced cucumber water and lemon water. I never order soda, so that was a nice idea, that stuck with me.

Los Ocampo - Best Sandwich EVER!

1751 Suburban Ave. St. Paul, MN

I had the best sandwich I have ever eaten in my life at Los Ocampo. I ate it over a month ago, and have not been able to put into words how delicious this particular item of food was. It was so good, I haven't got it since-afraid that the taste will never be replicated in my, or any other's lifetime. Such a strange sandwich concoction, yet so unbelievably good, it was the first time I had attempted to procreate with a sandwich-(a case of the Costanza's.)

My friends ordered the Fajita's for their meal, and when my sandwich arrived, they admitted their jealousy that they had not ordered the same thing, after it was set down. So many flavors within one sandwich, I had suspicions whether all of the tastes would conspire to out taste each other, yet the opposite happened..Each flavor worked in unison to the best of their own ability to create an orgasmic gang bang of deliciousness in my taste bud's. There was the buttered carrots, barely making their presence known, there was the perfectly ripe avocado sliced lengthwise, reminding me of its presence in the littlest way with each bite, and...well don't get me started on the Cuban Ham or all of the other great food potions that made up this magical sandwich, because I haven't the words.

Well I got three actually: Hawaiian Mexican Sandwich.

Tea House - Excellent!

1676 Suburban Ave. St Paul, MN 55106

I went to the Tea House after hearing great things from friends and Urbanspoon reviews, and was immediately taken in by the pleasant Eastern ambiance when I walked in the doors.

I tried a few different items off of the menu, including the sesame chicken (crisped to perfection) and some pan fried noodles with garlic and something (two weeks ago) along with the cream cheese wonton's. The cook must be O.C.D. because every piece of food had the perfect crispness to it, and I am one that is a crisp snob-there has to be jsut the right amount of crisp-too much and it is burnt, too little and slightly soggy. All my chicken pieces were as golden browned perfection as I have ever eaten.

I will say if your one that is offended by a non-social server, you might take offence at the hospitality as the service was a little frigid.. It was not impolite though, just not a hint of warmth in the server's mannerisms. Though the service was not lacking or lazy, so no complaints here!

The price is about $2-4 more than your typical Chinese eatery, but the food is twice as good so it is worth it!

Maria's Cafe..Superb African Burger and Huevos Rancheros!

1113 E Franklin Ave. Minneapolis, MN 55404

I ate here often when I was working construction across the street on "Roger Beck Florist," which is an amazing building you must walk across the street and check out after your delicious meal at Maria's..
The first time I had an "South African Burger," was at Maria's and I haven't had a better one since. The South African Burger is normal burger patty with cheese, bacon, BBQ sauce and a pineapple ring and it is my favorite burger of all time..easily, and Maria's makes a mean one.
Elsewhere, most call it a Hawaiian burger, but the first time I had ever heard of one was after eating it at Maria's so I am very thankful for that experience.
Besides that burger I have tried a number of other items and it has all been really, really good. Everyone that I have ever eaten there with has raved about it, and if you dine there you will be hearing similar praise as you eat.
It is always packed, but there is a reason!

Where oh Where have you gone My Dear Schlotzsky's?

Oh, the days of ole (1999) when I would pass by Schlotzsky's Deli in Woodbury and order myself a super sized sandwich packed with deliciousness of epic proportions.

With each bite, my heart would flutter, my legs would quiver, and my taste bud's would fly towards the heavens..This was the feeling a Schlotzsky's Deli Sandwich would evoke with each bite..  Such a proprietary taste I guess is not for everyone, and she soon closed down, as did a little piece of my taste bud's heart..

Absence indeed makes the heart grow fonder; a Schlotzsky's Deli Sandwich is surely proof of that..

Well meet again, I know we will.

The Bungalow - Like Food Poisoning?

1151 Rivercrest Rd. N. Lakeland, MN

I haven't gone to "The Bung" (what it should be renamed) for many years, and there is a legitimate reason why..

The last time I went there was a few years when back I ordered a grilled chicken salad; as did my older brother.  We were the only two in a table of about twelve people that ordered the grilled chicken salad, and also the only two that got violently ill for the next two days.  So you do the common sense math.

Shortly after we had gotten sick, we cataloged our food consumption for the previous day to see if we had eaten anything similar besides the grilled chicken salad and we had not, so it was pretty easy to narrow down the culprit.

Let me say I have had food poisoning a few other times in my life, but only two are indelibly etched in my stomach and taste bud's traumatic memory bank..  Once from a single McDonald's hamburger in 8th grade that turned my face green, and another from a "grilled" (I don't think the meat was ever cooked in hindsight) chicken salad from "The Bung."

Unfortunately, I remember that fateful day at "The Bung" many years ago as if it were yesterday and I will retell the story despite my traumatized tasty bud's plea to forget it ever happened..

The extended family was in from out of town, and we had gathered at "The Bungalow," (as it was respectably known at that point in time.)  We had a large table and the place was bustling.  The familiar clink of wine glasses was heard every few seconds, the bar was talkative and happy, and the staff were attentive.  The ambiance was fine, as was the waft of food that passed by every now and then from a plate of food that was hurriedly brought to a nearby table.  After we had chatted and ordered some drinks, we placed our food order.  I don't remember the circumstances, but for some reason I ordered the grilled chicken salad; as did my brother.  We waited the requisite time for the food to arrive and when it did I hungrily dug into my plate, but.. I immediately noticed with the first bite of the chicken that it was colder than it ought to have been.  Being a gullible eater, I assumed that the chicken had all ready been cooked, and maybe it was refrigerated after the fact just for the salad..  But at the same time I hoped that the chicken would have been freshly cooked to order and then put on the salad.  In hindsight, I stupidly trusted that they were practicing responsible food safety practices in the kitchen, and ignored my paranoid instincts.  I ate only a few bites of this chicken, (as it was not tasty at all-or warm,) and then pushed the rest of the cool chicken off to the side, and ate all of the greens, ignoring the bland chicken on the side of the plate.  Looking back, had I ate all that chicken I would probably have been in a coma.  At least if I go by the logic that if I only ate half the chicken and felt half dead, then surely if I had ate all of it, I would have been fully dead; or at least close to it.

As I remember, my brother ate most of his chicken on his plate, (if not all) and he was sick for a few more hours than myself, if not a full day.  But keep in mind he is jokingly known for having the stomach of a billy goat, and could probably drink water from a Tanzanian feet washing puddle and not get sick.  In fact just two months ago, up at the Gorka cabin, he was eating slabs of raw caribou meat because he couldn't wait for the fondue pot to heat it properly, (or maybe he can't tell the difference between raw and cooked meat.)  Whatever the case, the fact that he got violently sick and was crying for Mama is a testament to how bad the food poisoning was.

I won't go through the horrific details of what we both experienced during those many painful hours that followed shortly after eating at "The Bung," but if you were take all the worst stories of food poisoning you have ever heard or suffered yourself and multiplied that by 12 pieces of salmonella chicken you may have an idea of the agonizing pain we suffered through.

I had forgotten all about "The Bung," for a few years now, assuming it had been shut down, but after driving by it last Sunday with a few friends, one mentioned how sick he had gotten from eating there, and we went into a mutual discussion of how disgusting the place is.  He went on to say that he knows many that have gotten sick there as well.

If your one of them, speak up.