Noodles and Company - Good Stuff!

2865 White Bear Ave N. Maplewood, MN


I first went to a Noodles and Company in Boulder, Colorado (where they originated) when I visited there on a road trip back in 2002, and enjoyed it the concept and taste, so I was pleasantly surprised when they started opening stores in Minnesota a few years back.Everything I have had on the menu is tasty, even the mac n' cheese which I think should cost less than the other items on the menu because the ingredients likely cost a tenth as much, but you know what your getting when you order mac n' cheese so who am I to complain. You also have the option of adding protein to your meal in the form of meat or tofu if it doesn't all ready have it, but that will run the price up to around $9, and truthfully, I have never not been full after eating one of their dishes, so it is not necessary.If you haven't been to noodles, I definitely recommend you try it at least once, because it is a good combination of being somewhat healthy, not being too expensive, and being unique in taste and setup.

UPDATE: Tried the Japanese Pan Noodles for the first time, and it was very scrumptious. Haven't had a bad noodle meal their yet in all my years.

Arby's....or Garby's?

9975 Hudson Rd. Woodbury, MN 55125

Boy, has this place gone downhill in a decade. I don't know what they use for their roast beef now, nor do I want to. It seems their whole menu has gone the way of the McDonald's variety-dollar sized in price and penny sized in taste, and when you do taste something good, you know a cruel trick has been played on your innocent taste buds, by some scientist in Newark, who chemically created that taste artificially..

Yes I have read "Mad Cowboy", "Fast Food Nation", and the "Omnivores Dilemma", and stay away from fast food as much as possible now as a result, except for the occasional Mickey D french fries, (I'm human).

Great Moon Buffet - Set your Clocks to the Right Time!

2950 White Bear Ave N. Maplewood, MN 55109

First things first. When I went there with a buddy two years ago, he was griping about how they set their clocks ahead 10 minutes in order to save some money for those who show up last minute for the lunch buffet. He wanted to test the theory, so I was the reluctant accomplice.

Long story short, we arrived at the register 10 minutes before the brunch was to end according to two cell phones, and were told we would have to pay the dinner price, as the lady pointed to the clock on their wall that was 10 minutes fast. My friend pulled out his cell phone and showed it to the lady at the register, who became visibly angry, and started speaking gibberish and avoiding eye contact, continuing to point to the clock. My friend said he was going to contact the better business bureau, and they aired there differences loudly for a few seconds before we marched out.

So, while they have some delicious items on the menu, especially the black pepper chicken, (about half the time I go, they have it) I simply cannot give my business to an establishment that so obviously and callously ignores the Larry David Laws. In my opinion, setting the clocks ahead, though somewhat common in restaurants like these, must be discouraged via boycotting any establishments that engage in the practice and telling the owners as much.

Caribou Coffee - Inferior In Every Way to Dunn Bros./Starbucks

9955 Hudson Pl. Woodbury, MN

 

Something about Caribou coffee, I just have never had an exceptional cup. The coffee often tastes similar to gas station grade swill in my opinion. It lacks punch, sometimes is watered down, can be overly bitter, tastes like the container it was brewed from, and just doesn't satisfy my taste buds.

Plus, Caribou rarely seems to have a steel container of half and half out, like every other respectable coffee shop-instead they have the little plastic single sized containers, which is rather cheesy, and seems very wasteful and cheap.

I still go there once a month on Monday for the dollar cup to see if they have improved, but I haven't noticed a change for the better yet.

Culver's - Delicious Custard!

1725 Market Dr. Stillwater, MN 55082

Lordy Miss Clawdy-the custard is to die for!

The vanilla custard that is, so delicious and tasty, I recommend getting the single dish and cleansing your mouth out with water, then waiting ten minutes before ordering to get the full effect of each wave of flavor that cometh from the vanilla custard.

Yes, I have boycotted fast food beef, but I decided I have to make an exception somewhere, and that somewhere is Culver's. I think they say they're beef is from Wisconsin, so maybe the Mad Cow and E-Coli risks are lessened.

One disclaimer though, eat any burger bigger than a single sized and you will not be moving around too quickly for the next hour or so afterword. I recommend the snack pak's they have, a combo of delicious value hard to beat anywhere.

Peking Restaurant of St. Paul - The Worst.

475 Etna St. St Paul, MN 55106

I went here two Saturday's with a best buddy and the memory of the awful food still lingers in my traumatized taste bud's memory.

Pulling into the empty parking lot, sans one lone car around 6 P.M. that fateful evening, I thought maybe this wasn't the best day to sample what this place had to offer. You see, as a rule I never go to a food establishment of any kind when it is going to close within an hour, or in this case, when it looks deserted. I stepped out of the car and squinted my eyes at the hours of business sign as the sun glinted off the windows. "Maybe we should just go to Garibaldi", I said, "this doesn't look good." "Ah, it's fine my buddy responded re assuredly, they are still open for two more hours, they will put fresh stuff out." I reluctantly agreed, ignoring my stomach's subconscious gurgling as it recoiled at the thought of bad Chinese buffet food, and opened the door.

The place was empty, except for a lone customer sitting in a booth near the entrance, his head hovering over his plate of "food" with a hat pulled down, covering his eyes. He didn't look up when we entered and his clothes seemed to drape around his plate of food. I didn't know why he was eating in that matter at the time, but later figured out that he was likely ashamed that he was eating such "food", and didn't want any witnesses should he run for political office in the future. A young man greeted us, and showed us to one of the many empty booths in the restaurant. As he asked for our drinks and confirmed that we would be eating at the buffet, I wondered whether I should have previewed what the food looked like before committing to it. A few seconds later, my worst fears would be confirmed.

I approached the buffet cautiously, like a hunter who has just shot a rabid mother grizzly bear with a pellet gun in mating season, and wasn't sure if she was really dead. I poked at one of the items in the tray as steam rose all around.. I felt as if I was in a horror movie and my stomach was about to be the victim of a horrendous crime carried out by a posse of MSG filled hooligans, with greasy intentions. I pawed with a spoon (unwashed for hours likely,) at various items in the buffet before coming to some fried rice that looked like it had been made within the last 6 hours or so, (everything else looked like it had been sitting there since the Reagan Administration). I reluctantly picked a few other items off the buffet table that looked edible in comparison to the very worst that was there, and walked back to the table with a light plate and a heavy heart. I ate the stale rice with the gumption of a depressed cow eating rotten grass, and could not take more than a bite out of any of the other items. My friend took a different approach, taking an item from each tray, and sampling with a small bite, inspecting and poking like a scientist as he turned the food item in circles, trying to decipher exactly what it was he was attempting to eat. Or maybe checking for maggots.. Another minute of this charade passed before we decided to cut our losses and leave for Plaza Garibaldi, asking the server what our options were since we didn't eat much, and we ended up paying for a single meal between the two of us, something like $7 give or take a dollar, still way to much for food that shouldn't (in my opinion) be served to anyone of the mammalian variety.

To describe what the "food" looked and tasted like wouldn't do my stomach or taste buds justice, but I will give it a shot: the texture of the meat products are what linger in my visual memory most acutely; you see the breading on the meat, instead of being crispy and crunchy, was soggy and wet, and had what seemed to be multiple layers of MSG dunked fat, surrounding what was attempting to pass itself off of as meat. If your game enough to reach the epicenter of the piece of food where the meat was (as I was), you are greeted with the familiar taint of "funny buffet taste" - possibly the worst taste in all of the world, and one that will linger in your taste bud's memory long after the traumatic experience has passed.

Taking in to account the time of day that we went there, and the fact that place was mostly empty and a few hours away from closing, I was tempted to not write a review trashing the place. But then I thought, if these individuals are going to operate a restaurant and keep it open when it is not busy, the least they can do is make sure that they at least have some edible food for customers. Instead, it seems they decided to lazily put out an awful product, and hope that the one or two people that got ripped off would not be enough to change the opinion on the place as a whole.

Little did they know that fateful day they had Tasty Buds as a customer, and that his awful memory of Peking Restaurant, (and that of his taste buds) would be recorded forever in the annal's of Urbanspoon history.

So to avoid an awful memory like the one I had that fateful day, I strongly encourage all to avoid ever trying this food out, even to see if it really is that bad, because it is.

Black Dog Cafe - Good Ambiance, Overrated Food and Drink

308 Prince St. St Paul, MN 55101

I usually go here for a cup of coffee before a Sunday of NFL football or before a STRIKEFORCE Event to get a little more jacked up.

The coffee consistency is mediocre, usually ranging from above average to excellent and the service is friendly.

After seeing their Cubano sandwich rated #1 on the cover of the Pioneer Press eat section a few months ago I decided to try it myself and decide if it was still worthy of that ranking..it is not.

Not a bad sandwich, the flavors are competitive and complement each other o.k, but it is definitely overrated if you ask me. If your sick of the same old sandwich though and don't have too picky of tastes you will likely enjoy it. Of course there is the possibility that the sandwich wasn't at its best the day I walked in, so I shall try it again and change my review if it improves.

Smashburger - Raw Meat in the Middle..

9965 Hudson Rd. Woodbury, MN 55125

Of my burger is what I experienced when I went in there 2 out of the 3 times I visited...

The BBQ burger was delicious, but every time I get a burger there it is either grossly undercooked in the middle of the patty or looks raw, with bright pink in the center. Not sure if this establishment wants to play stomach roulette with the state of most meat nowadays but they seem to be doing it.

That being said I am a trooper and finished both questionable burgers and didn't get sick, so either I am lucky or stupid. Thus far it seems they are too..

Nelson's Drive Inn Dairy Store - Deliciously Thick Shakes and Malts

920 Olive St W Stillwater, MN 55082

I haven't had a Nelson's shake in quite a few years, but the memory still lingers on from the many I have had in the past. If they are still making them the same as when I went you will not be disappointed.

To give you an idea of how delicious the shakes are let me paint a picture.. The year is 2001, I am playing basketball in a league every Sunday evening. Afterword as a treat, and to counteract any health benefits from sprinting back and forth, and jumping to and fro, I would go over to Nelson's and order myself a $3 dollar shake (that is what they cost at the time-not sure now). EVERY TIME, I would get about 3/4 of the way through the shake before my stomach started to writhe in pain, likely something to do with the lactic acid going head to head with twenty ounces of thick dairy goodness. Ignoring the pleas in my stomach to stop, my taste buds simply could never get enough until the last bit was gone, and would soldier on every time through the stomach contractions. I don't know what giving birth is like, but for five minutes at Nelson's after a night of basketball, every Sunday, I think I was treated to a small sample.

Sarpino's Pizza - Consistently Inconsistent

1803 Geneva Ave N. Maplewood, MN 55128

In my experience, when you order from Sarpino's you never know what your going to get. Usually, for some reason, the majority of the time I have ordered a pie, and the pizza always has a hint of hair smell, and with the smell of hair, a hint is all you need. A taste is even worse. The combo of the two? Simply regrettable. I am not sure if someone that works there is shedding, and each time they make a pie a tuft falls into the pie, but a good majority of the time I have ordered (in the distant past, I won't anymore) I have encountered that peculiar, awful smell.

Besides that issue, there is another equally troubling problem with Sarpino's that I find happens with just about every eatery that attempts to cater to a wide variety of taste bud's.. By having a large assortment of ingredients, and trying to appeal to every conceivable customer, they stretch themselves too far out, end up losing their balance, and fall on their collective heads.

Instead of making a few items really good, with fresh ingredients, these types of places instead tend to make a large assortment of items really poorly, likely with some ingredients that haven't been touched in ages. It looks good on the menu with more options, but not so good once you actually bite into it. The old adage of martial arts comes to mind; "better to practice one kick ten thousand times, than to practice ten thousand kicks one time". I think if Sarpino's adopted that philosophy, they would be putting out a decent pie, but even considering that change in philosophy, they would still have to cook a pie for long enough, which it seems they have failed to do in the past, seemingly opting to rush them out, in the process swiping quality for quantity-a seemingly recurring theme with Sarpino's. The result is poor pizza pie, and foodies like myself vowing never to order another pie.

I.H.O.P. - Bring the Defibrillator.

7680 10th St N Oakdale, MN 55128


I went to this establishment thrice in my life, and each experience was worse than the previous. First of all, for a place supposedly known for their pancakes, the ones I have had the misfortune to consume have left me to wonder how anyone could come to the conclusion that they are tasty, let alone edible. You can put all the whipped cream and syrup you want on these flapjacks, but you still won't be able to disguise the "blandcakes" as I call them beneath. The other food item I have had the tenacity to attempt to eat was the Ham n' Cheese Omelet, and I can only assume the ham was made from a handicapped swine, and the cheese curded from a rat's teet's. One other thing I noticed when I went to IHOP one time was the fact that I was the only diner that weighed less than 300 pounds. If you end up eating here for some other reason than famine, I suggest bringing along a defibrillator..Simply awful!

Plaza Garibaldi - Best Mexican Around for Price/Quality/Service!

7129 10th St N Oakdale, MN 55128


Just last night, the 12th of September, I once again reminded myself why I frequent this magnificent establishment on a weekly basis. My taste buds have grown tired of a lot of foods as of late; especially the repeat offenders, i.e. the fast food burger, the trans fat french fries-it all taste the same; cloned and common. Which is why when I want rich, delicious, memorable authentic Mexican food, I quickly find my way to Plaza Garibaldi, the finest Mexican food that I have ever indulged in.

First, the warm chips and dips arrive, a delicious, cool, tomato salsa with fresh cilantro that dances around my merry taste buds, with rushes of flavor coming in waves, escalating with each splash of the warm tortilla chip into the the welcoming dip..After a half dozen dips I will switch to the custom dip they have perfected that lures me back each time; a velvety, cream colored ranch dip with hints of many other flavors which send my taste buds aflutter. Shortly the chips will be gone, but for now I will aIternate between the two, averaging 5-7 dips per bowl before succumbing to the advances of the other dip. The server will ask me if I want more chips, but I will politely decline-too much of a good thing..Tonight, (as usual) I am feeling ordering the #1 off the dinner menu; 1 beef taco, 2 cheese enchiladas, and one very happy customer. I eat the beef taco first, and my anxious taste buds salivate as the thick, ivory, mozzarella greets the perfectly browned and seasoned beef, and meshes with the warm taco shell to blend for a fireworks of deliciousness. After the taco is quickly deposited, I move to the enchiladas, chopping each piece off in 2 inch sections and methodically mixing the gooey, generous servings of melted Mexican (goat?) cheese, with the pliable, inviting tortilla shell, and the mild enchilada sauce, which does a capable job of not overpowering, the thick, yet mild nirvana that is the aforementioned cheese sauce..Yet with all the above that I have mentioned about Plaza Garibaldi, there are three more essential, and equally great things to know about this establishment; the #1 plate I often get when I go there is only $7.00!!! The service is great, the food is consistently excellent, and the price is outrageously low for the quality of the food...and the speed at which they bring the food out never ceases to amaze me..

Mongolian Buffet - Delicious

1490 Frontage Rd W. Stillwater, MN 

When reviewing or eating at a Chinese Buffet the first requisite a Chinese Buffet must pass to be above average is the funny taste test. If the taste in my buds detect that of funny business in the item of food I am eating (usually chicken) and I sense what I believe to be a pigeon tainted MSG filled grenade about to go off in my mouth, continuing to eat is a hard thing to do. I would estimate this occurs in about 30% of the Chinese buffet meals I eat from and those who frequent buffets on a monthly basis or more may know what I am referring to. That being said, I am happy to report that after hearing many positive reviews on BC's "Mongolian" Barbeque I finally went and gorged myself heartily on amalgam of delicious Buffet items without tasting anything funny or bad. The fried rice was the best buffet rice I have probably had, and the black pepper chicken was excellent as well. Nothing was below average, sans the diet coke I received expecting a regular coke. From the moment a diet coke droplet touches my taste bud whisker, it repulsively wilts and withdraws in to a cocoon from which the rest follow in concert until being coaxed to the surface with a droplet of vanilla extract, which strangely enough, allegedly doesn't even register on the taste buds, but rather is appreciated by the olfactory bulb.

So all in all, a better buffet than any other ones I have been to in the metro area, and it is not on the cheap side, but what do you expect? You pay for what you get.

Sati Coffee - Best Coffee Around

572 Commons Dr Woodbury, MN 

I consider myself a coffee connoisseur, highly addicted to the brown stuff that sticks to your teeth and brain, so when I indulge twice daily in a cup, I make sure it is a fine one. Not that gas station grade swill mind you, or pre ground crap by the truckload, percolated in a chinese plastic coffeemaker, that is leaking BPA fumes. No, I use a French press and organic coffee and brew my own for the most part. However, ever since I stopped in to Sati in Woodbury by happenchance for a pre Borders cup of Americano, I can not resist the temptation to get a cup once daily now. It is by far and away the finest coffee my taste buds have ever sampled..and it is really not close. Much as I hate giving money to a Frenchmen, this coffee deserves every penny. My only complaint is the coffee does not seem to be Organic, which means your may be getting some pesticides mixed in as well..

Peking Restaurant of St. Paul - Worst Chinese Food Ever.

475 Etna St. East St. Paul, MN

I went here two Saturday's with a best buddy and the memory of the awful food still lingers in my traumatized taste bud's memory.

Pulling into the empty parking lot, sans one lone car around 6 P.M. that fateful evening, I thought maybe this wasn't the best day to sample what this place had to offer. You see, as a rule I never go to a food establishment of any kind when it is going to close within an hour, or in this case, when it looks deserted. I stepped out of the car and squinted my eyes at the hours of business sign as the sun glinted off the windows. "Maybe we should just go to Garibaldi", I said, "this doesn't look good." "Ah, it's fine my buddy responded re assuredly, they are still open for two more hours, they will put fresh stuff out." I reluctantly agreed, ignoring my stomach's subconscious gurgling as it recoiled at the thought of bad Chinese buffet food, and opened the door.

The place was empty, except for a lone customer sitting in a booth near the entrance, his head hovering over his plate of "food" with a hat pulled down, covering his eyes. He didn't look up when we entered and his clothes seemed to drape around his plate of food. I didn't know why he was eating in that matter at the time, but later figured out that he was likely ashamed that he was eating such "food", and didn't want any witnesses should he run for political office in the future. A young man greeted us, and showed us to one of the many empty booths in the restaurant. As he asked for our drinks and confirmed that we would be eating at the buffet, I wondered whether I should have previewed what the food looked like before committing to it. A few seconds later, my worst fears would be confirmed.

I approached the buffet cautiously, like a hunter who has just shot a rabid mother grizzly bear with a pellet gun in mating season, and wasn't sure if she was really dead. I poked at one of the items in the tray as steam rose all around.. I felt as if I was in a horror movie and my stomach was about to be the victim of a horrendous crime carried out by a posse of MSG filled hooligans, with greasy intentions. I pawed with a spoon (unwashed for hours likely,) at various items in the buffet before coming to some fried rice that looked like it had been made within the last 6 hours or so, (everything else looked like it had been sitting there since the Reagan Administration). I reluctantly picked a few other items off the buffet table that looked edible in comparison to the very worst that was there, and walked back to the table with a light plate and a heavy heart. I ate the stale rice with the gumption of a depressed cow eating rotten grass, and could not take more than a bite out of any of the other items. My friend took a different approach, taking an item from each tray, and sampling with a small bite, inspecting and poking like a scientist as he turned the food item in circles, trying to decipher exactly what it was he was attempting to eat. Or maybe checking for maggots.. Another minute of this charade passed before we decided to cut our losses and leave for Plaza Garibaldi, asking the server what our options were since we didn't eat much, and we ended up paying for a single meal between the two of us, something like $7 give or take a dollar, still way to much for food that shouldn't (in my opinion) be served to anyone of the mammalian variety.

To describe what the "food" looked and tasted like wouldn't do my stomach or taste buds justice, but I will give it a shot: the texture of the meat products are what linger in my visual memory most acutely; you see the breading on the meat, instead of being crispy and crunchy, was soggy and wet, and had what seemed to be multiple layers of MSG dunked fat, surrounding what was attempting to pass itself off of as meat. If your game enough to reach the epicenter of the piece of food where the meat was (as I was), you are greeted with the familiar taint of "funny buffet taste" - possibly the worst taste in all of the world, and one that will linger in your taste bud's memory long after the traumatic experience has passed.

Taking in to account the time of day that we went there, and the fact that place was mostly empty and a few hours away from closing, I was tempted to not write a review trashing the place. But then I thought, if these individuals are going to operate a restaurant and keep it open when it is not busy, the least they can do is make sure that they at least have some edible food for customers. Instead, it seems they decided to lazily put out an awful product, and hope that the one or two people that got ripped off would not be enough to change the opinion on the place as a whole.

Little did they know that fateful day they had Tasty Buds as a customer, and that his awful memory of Peking Restaurant, (and that of his taste buds) would be recorded forever in the annal's of Urbanspoon history.

So to avoid an awful memory like the one I had that fateful day, I strongly encourage all to avoid ever trying this food out, even to see if it really is that bad, because it is.

Leo's Chow Mein - Best Buffet for the Value!

1059 Hudson Rd East St Paul, MN 55106


I have eaten here probably a dozen times and for $5.95 or whatever it is, the price cannot be beat, anywhere. I especially enjoy the way they cook the fried rice, the fried potato chip with something else (rodent meat?) dish and the sweet and sour chicken, which has exceptional crunch.

In case your unfamiliar with Leo's, it is not a typical "buffet", but don't be scared.. This is the way it works-you pay your buffet fee, grab your empty plate, and find an empty seat. Now instead of walking to the buffet like farm animals grazing, they have 3 or 4 servers that are constantly circling around the dining area with assorted delicious Chinese buffet items, asking you if you want an item and how much (don't be greedy hogging all my sweet and sour or fried potato chips-I am the guy in the corner glaring at you if you do). I have sampled most of what Leo's has to offer besides the items heavily laden with pork or unfamiliar looking vegetables, and all is delicious!

However, I must warn you soon-to-be Leo's customers of one potential mishap; early in the dining experience a common mistake is to fill up too much with one particular item in anticipation that said item may not come back around. Don't worry, as the servers at Leo's seem to have developed a unique horse sense as to when you want a certain item and will act accordingly. However don't abuse this privilege, as I once pretended in my mind that I like steamed cabbage to test their skills, and ended up opening a wormhole in the dining area, that swallowed up three cans of soda and a 3M employee.

Buffalo Wild Wings - Terrible

Buffalo Wild Wings (Oak Park Heights)

So I have been to this place thrice before, and having eaten the food and experienced the bland, puddy like consistency that is their chicken, I honestly question my own judgment when I attempted for a fourth time to consume their "food".

Some background on why I entered again after so many awful tasting meals...

It was a Saturday night in November and the UFC put on another crap P.P.V. card not worth the exorbitant $50 fee, (Dana White your a huge tool). So I reluctantly made my way to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch for free and found my way to a friends booth. I sipped a fermented, low grade, ale and watched a UFC card filled with no talent B-level fighters that for the most part punched each other stupid for a few hours. In the time I anxiously awaited the main card (which ended up being a disappointment) my stomach started barking, so I reluctantly decided to order something off the menu. I figured I was due for a good meal as this was the fourth time I had eaten at a B.W.W. So I mentally invoked the law of averages and ordered the nacho cheese dip. A few minutes passed and my "food" was set down on table. I picked up a frail chip and attempted to dip it into the cheese dip which looked like gas station grade cheese sauce speckled with antsy bird crap. The chip broke and slowly disappeared into the ooze like a broken man in quicksand. I questioned my sanity as I bit into the tawny matter, and questioned it again as my fair taste buds started to detect a bouquet of refuse that was loitering around the roof of my mouth. I gagged for a second, then thought of my options. Because I am thrifty and adventurous, I opted to continue to eat for another minute before common sense surpassed hunger and I pushed away the remains. Had I left that same plate in the Arizona desert, I honestly don't believe a vulture would have circled it.

I don't know what the recipe for any of the food from B.W.W. is, but I am pretty confident that my dip came from a can of hormel chili that was heated up and the tortilla chips were recycled from a soup kitchen. In the past when I sampled their anorexic chicken wings, I was disturbed by the lack of meat and especially the almost nonexistent taste. I felt as if the guy "cooking" the wings decided to take a bite, but then I realized that he probably knew better by then and it could only be a starving rodent passing through on his way to a better restaurant.